it always has not been my call

And if i ask them, they would say:

this is what you should do.

if you don't do this, X will this this this, cant that that that, Y will this this this, cant that that that.

And i should do that, because:

i haven't this this this, so i can do what i should do.

That is the problem, you are not given me the chance to even doing it, and you want me to sacrifice everything so that they or you can do what you want to do.

All of the sudden, U are important, and i am not.