Monday, July 27

in depth

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我很需要你





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Sunday, July 26

私隐之,前男友

今天housemate 问我,我的前男友是不是换了女朋友,我说没有啊!

她说他msn里的照片,那女的很象不一样了。then, 她就给我看了他现在的照片。

我第一个反应,为什么要把这样亲密的照片放上去给全世界看。

很恶心!

那照片的感觉很 AV 你懂吗?

形象全都没了。

哦!我有这样的反应,你要说我嫉妒,不爽还是什么都好。。。我能告诉你:我一点都没有!

路遥知马力,日久见人心。

我一点都不后悔和他撇清关系。

Saturday, July 25

so much in love

Friend asked me? talking on the phone with lover?

NO

heheee.....in people eyes, they might think i am in love with somebody.

reason? not so sure.

but i guess i am in love with myself, now that i am happy for who i am right now.

i know how to make myself looks better, feels better and be better.

i have no body to entertain, except me myself.......which is great!

no more pleasing other people

no reasons to change who i am right now.

not even the nice face i am adoring right now will change my mind.

too bad that i am not the commitment type of person.....not now and not yet.

cheers everybody, be what u want to be , not what u need to be!

Tuesday, July 21

很脏

有些人,因为很闷而找你。

有些人,因为不开心而找你。

有些人,因为利益而找你。

有些人,因为觉得和你在一起会很开心而找你。

而当你不开心的时候,这些人,这些所谓的朋友,他们在那里?他们会记得你吗?

这个地方很脏 这里的人更脏

很想快快离开 好像去一个没人认识我的地方

我真的很想 很想

我不要竞争 我不要荣华富贵

我只想平平凡凡 普普通通的生活

真的有那么难吗?

Monday, July 20

我只想哭

我只想哭 只想哭 只想哭

最近很多人心情不好哦!

而我也变成了他们的倾诉对象。

听了好多, 也说了好多。


那我呢?

每一次,到了眼角的眼泪,都把它吞回去。

不开心的事情,说出来,不说出来,好像没什么分别。

还要说出来做什么?

我有一肚子的眼泪,一肚子的话,从来没说过出来。

冲进马桶去了咯!

但愿如此吧!

Tuesday, July 14

maskless

Tired, was preparing the Life Cont. test.....went to sleep on 3 am, woke up 8 am.

Felt asleep in the class.

Was in school 10 am until 7 pm. Tired, body, mind and soul.

Reached home on 7 pm, walked alone to photostat some stuff. Then to pasar malam.

7.30 pm, sky was getting darker and darker. I walked, and walked. Fast and i dare not to stop.

Walked alone on the dark street alone.

Reached home, relieved.

Laid, on the bed. Thinking, resting.

Facebook.

Tired soul, longing for companion.

Made a call to mum. Talked.

Hung up. Tears dropped.

Defense broke down.

Lone heart. Just for today.

Little rest, for body and soul. Before the battle. Before the real world come shattering.

Wednesday, July 8

a small visit paid by uneasiness

Was planning to take a short nap, ended up reading New Moon.
Not too much had i finished, just few pages, that i decided to start some studies.
And still, not too much that i managed to absorb, i laid myself back on the bed again, trying to get some sleep, since i can't get myself concentrate on the notes.
And then, again. I was distracted, by the book, New Moon of course.

Unable to concentrate on doing anything, it made me felt so uneasy.
The feeling of not knowing what actually i want to do.

For no reasons, tears started spinning in my eyes. For how long, i don't know.
Being stubborn enough, it refused to come out.
It would be a lot easier for me, if i just can let it go, if i just can let the tears drop.

huh.....the feeling of not knowing, is always so hard to deal with.

No matter how small or big it is.
Not knowing......even as minute as what to eat or do, could spoild the rest of the day.

The uneasiness, i am feeling right now.....
Uneasiness raised for don't know whatsoever reason....
argh......it is like, nothing is right...

There is nothing....but nothing.
Everything seems to be so ridiculous, even on the thing i just wrote....

whatever.....

just wanna spill something out....

Sunday, July 5

wounded

It took me quite sometimes to realized that, it is more fragile than i thought.

Because it's wounded already.......